The Ordinary Instant

Abstract

An exploration of generational caretaking in a women dominated family, especially in a time of grief. My dad's mother struggled with Alzhiemer's for 7 years before she passed and in that time my mom stepped up to take care of her, going on to become a health aide for elderly people. The Ordinary Instant examines how family shapes the process of growing up, aging, and letting go. My mom cared for us after my Nanny's death alongside my oldest sister as my dad coped by working long days.

I have begun looking at myself as a reflection of my mom and wondering what I will become. How can I help people? Am I selfless enough for motherhood? Am I even a woman? How do you know what you want or who you are? There's a sense of nihilism when seeing someone go through Alzheimer's and seeing all valuable memories fade from their minds, but a hint of hope where that person might just remember you. My Nanny used to carry a photo of me around her house for days and try to give me her favorite stuffed animals when I visited. The last time I saw her was two months before she passed, there was a gut feeling that I would never see her again. She grabbed my hand as I cried, looked me in the eyes, and said "it's ok it's just you and me".