Trust the Process

Abstract

Art is supposed to reflect the human experience, be it pain, pleasure, or an explosive mix of the two. Through my personal experience throughout the last semester, I have found a way to not only convey these emotions through creativity, but also the price that expression comes with. The last four years have been frustrating, thrilling, and insightful. As with the mismatched scraps and shreds of this physical world that I gathered to create these pieces—seemingly random objects or parts of my own body to be assigned meaning by the audience— I gathered the fragments of my memory and mind which compelled my metamorphosis over these past four years. I have transformed into something more tired and unsatisfied than I had ever could have fathomed or hoped for. I have become something I do not want to keep being. These projects and reflections were a forced chrysalis that turned sloppy and monotonous as the years went on. While I remained hopeful, and still love art as an experience, it isn't something I can stand to dedicate my life to. Not yet, anyways. I trusted the process. I believed that I would end up somewhere worthwhile and meaningful. That my passion would carry me through; that this mindset of creation and creativity was resilient enough to ward off boredom or exhaustion. Those dreams were broken. My perception was broken. The system was broken. But the process? The process was not broken. I still ended up somewhere, even if that isn't somewhere I imagined myself being. I never gave up, but that didn't mean I ended up somewhere I wanted to be. Still, it was a valuable experience that taught me much about not only my passions and skills, but also about the importance of fulfillment and satisfaction. That even though I'm good at something or dedicated to a craft, it's not guaranteed that I'll be happy. I'll just have to reenter the chrysalis, for now. Change isn't something that ever quite stops. I still have the opportunity to learn and grow as I experience new things. All I need to do is keep trusting the process